all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
