it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
