If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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