How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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