Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
