He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I have feelings that need drinking.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
