Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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