just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
