You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
