i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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