brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
