guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
