It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
