The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
