oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
