just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
