i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just found puke in my bra..
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
