They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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