I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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