Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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