Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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