I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
