Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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