and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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