Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
