at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
ok first of all what the fuck
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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