so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
