i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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