I want to have your abortion
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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