What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
and you fell through a lawn chair
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
