im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm passing your future prison.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
