There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
