I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
