I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
