i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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