He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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