I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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