Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
