And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
it was like eating out sand paper
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Randomize
