I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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