you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
