I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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