Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
