Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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