Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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