An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
