Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
