We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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