Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
