i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
