I showed him my bush... on skype.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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