Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
